How to Protect Yourself When Your Employer Is Setting You Up to Fail
- Anne Marie the AntiHR Lady
- May 21
- 4 min read
Signs Your Employer Is Quietly Pushing You Out—and How to Fight Back
It’s not always loud when an employer wants you gone. Sometimes it’s silent, strategic, and slow—until one day you’re being blamed, written up, or managed out. For many employees, especially Black women navigating discriminatory workplaces, these moves are part of a calculated pattern: you’re being set up to fail.
Here’s how to spot the signs early—and what to do about it.
Red Flags You’re Being Set Up to Fail
If several of these are happening at once, take note:
You’re given unclear or ever-changing expectations
You’re excluded from meetings or comms loops essential to your role
You’re denied access to training, tools, or support you need to succeed
You’re suddenly micromanaged or overly scrutinized
Your accomplishments are ignored and minor missteps are exaggerated
You get surprise write-ups or negative reviews without prior conversations
Leadership or HR treats you differently after you speak up or advocate for yourself
These aren’t random. This is how some employers build a “paper trail” to justify pushing you out.
Why Employers Do This
When employers want to remove someone without legal liability, they often create a narrative of poor performance. This helps them avoid discrimination claims while making it seem like you’re the problem. This tactic is especially common after you’ve reported bias, taken protected leave, or simply made people uncomfortable by being competent, vocal, or confident.
How to Protect Yourself Strategically
1. Track Every Incident – in One Place
When you’re being set up to fail, documentation is your defense. Track every shift in expectations, every denial of resources, every instance of exclusion or microaggression.
📝 That’s exactly what the AntiHR Documentation Journal was designed for.It gives you a structured, protected space to record and organize everything in a format you can use later—if needed for HR, a lawyer, or your own memory.
Use your AntiHR Documentation Journal to track:
Shifting goals or job duties
Exclusion from meetings or decisions
Denied requests for tools or support
Sudden changes in tone, treatment, or feedback
If it isn’t written down, it didn’t happen. Your notes are your protection.
2. Clarify Expectations in Writing
When your responsibilities or priorities change suddenly, send a follow-up email confirming what was discussed. This helps prevent gaslighting and creates a written record.
“Just confirming that based on our discussion today, my top priorities this month are A, B, and C. Please let me know if I’ve misunderstood anything.”
This turns vague instructions into clear expectations—and makes it harder to later claim you didn’t perform.
3. Save Every Win, Every Time
Start a personal record of positive performance feedback—client emails, Slack messages, performance dashboards, even verbal praise (noted with dates and context). This becomes crucial when someone tries to rewrite the story of your work history.
4. Learn Your Workplace Rights Now—Not Later
Do you know what qualifies as retaliation? Or how to identify a discriminatory hostile work environment? Most people don’t—until it’s too late.
That’s why I created the Roadmap to Understanding Your Workplace Rights
This ebook provides a short, clear, action-focused eBook that breaks down:
What your rights are
What retaliation really looks like
How to raise concerns without putting yourself at greater risk
What to do before you file a complaint
5. Take Care of Your Mental Health
The psychological impact of being set up at work is real. If your stress levels are rising or your health is suffering, speak to your doctor or therapist. You may qualify for Family Medical Leave Act (FMLA) to regroup without penalty, and it creates additional documentation of the harm you’re experiencing.
6. Don’t Confront Without a Strategy
Before reporting what’s happening to HR or leadership, take a beat. Many people rush to confront or complain, and get labeled “the problem.” You need a strategy, not just a reaction. That’s where I come in.
Get the Tools, Strategy, and Support You Deserve
If you’re being pushed out of your job, you don’t have to go quietly—or without compensation. Get the AntiHR Mastercourse Bundle!
🎯 The AntiHR Mastercourse Bundle includes:
How to Ask for an Exit from a Discriminatory Hostile Workplace and Actually Get It
Mastering Separation Agreements
These courses walk you through how to document, protect your peace, and negotiate an exit that works in your favor—financially and emotionally.
💼 Bundle Price: $715
Join the AntiHR Membership Community Today
Inside, you’ll get access to the full Roadmap eBook and the AntiHR Documentation Journal—both free. You’ll also gain entry to:
Private strategy tools
Select Mastercourse Access
Live support and consulting sessions
A space where Black women professionals are seen, heard, and supported
You are not imagining it. You are not overreacting. If they’re setting you up, you can set yourself up—for freedom, power, and a strategic exit.
For more tips about navigating and escaping difficult HR situations:
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