Dear Black Women: Please Stop Being Weaponized Against Other Black Women.
- Anne Marie the AntiHR Lady
- Jul 4, 2023
- 4 min read
Updated: Aug 3
Disclaimer: The information provided in this blog post is for informational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice. It is important to consult with legal professionals for guidance on specific legal matters.
Results on engagements and online courses may vary, successful outcome is not guaranteed.
Dear Black Women: Please Stop Being Weaponized Against Other Black Women
In many toxic workplaces, Black women are being strategically used—weaponized—against each other. This blog post is a direct call to Black women professionals: stop allowing yourselves to be used as tools of anti-Blackness against other Black women.
We have to talk about this. Because it’s happening every day—in meetings, behind closed doors, in performance reviews, in “anonymous” surveys—and far too often, we’re either the targets or the weapons.
Why This Message Matters
I’ve seen it too many times: a Black woman struggling under the weight of an abusive work environment, only to be undermined by another Black woman complicit in the harm. Maybe you’ve seen it too. Maybe you’ve been the target. Maybe, without realizing it, you’ve been the one used.
None of us is immune to the internalized oppression that tells us proximity to power—even toxic power—is a form of safety. But when that power uses you to harm your own, it’s not protection. It’s manipulation.
And it’s time to name it and stop it.
How We’re Being Used—And Why
Workplaces that uphold white supremacy culture will use whatever tools they can to isolate, discredit, and push out Black women—especially those who speak up, question, or lead differently.
That includes:
Using one Black woman to co-sign racist feedback about another
Asking Black women in leadership to carry out harsh discipline or terminations against other Black employees
Relying on the “one who made it” to prove the environment isn’t racist (“If she’s fine here, the problem must be you”)
Encouraging us to compete for scraps instead of supporting one another’s growth
When you go along with this, even if you think it’s just to “survive,” you’re doing harm. You are reinforcing a system designed to keep all of us small, isolated, and exhausted.
Internalized Oppression in the Workplace
Let’s be clear: this is a feature, not a bug, of systemic racism in the workplace. Internalized oppression shows up when we:
Assume there’s only room for one of us
Over-police another Black woman’s tone, style, or behavior
Align ourselves with white leadership to appear “reasonable” or “not like them”
Gossip, isolate, or co-sign performance narratives without facts
This is not a character flaw—it’s conditioning. But it’s also a choice. And we can choose differently.
The Cost of Complicity
Being “the good one” or “the only one who made it” might feel validating in the moment—but the cost is your integrity, your community, and often your long-term peace.
The minute you’re no longer useful, you too can become expendable. No amount of co-signing will save you when leadership decides it’s your turn to be pushed out.
Worse yet, the harm you cause can follow another Black woman for years. And it will follow you too.
How to Break the Cycle and Support Each Other
If you’ve been weaponized, it’s not too late to choose another way.
Here’s how to start:
Pause before you co-sign negative narratives. Ask yourself: is this true, or is this just what I’ve been told?
Speak up when you see unfairness, even if it’s risky. Silence is not neutrality.
Refuse to participate in gossip or toxic performance discussions—especially when no one is defending the target.
Reach out privately to support another Black woman. Let her know she’s not alone.
Heal your own trauma. If you’ve been hurt by other Black women at work, don’t carry that wound forward by doing harm. Break the cycle.
And if you’ve been the one harmed by this dynamic? You are not crazy. You are not imagining it. And you are not alone.
Final Thoughts: Choose Solidarity Over Sabotage
Black women: we deserve better than survival. We deserve community, solidarity, and real support in the workplace. The system wants us isolated and competing. We are stronger when we reject that model and choose each other instead.
And if you’re unsure how to begin doing that, you don’t have to do it alone.
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You don’t have to figure this out by yourself.https://www.theantihr-hrlady.com/antihrcommunity
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